Please deny this man entry to the UK!!!!

This morning, I signed a petition on https://www.change.org/p/uk-home-office-deny-julienblanc-a-uk-visa to ban Julien Blanc (a professional ‘Pick up Artist’) from entering the UK.

I had never heard of this man but was horrified to read more about him.

Julien Blanc classes himself as a pick up master, able to seduce and lure any women into bed. He is not charming nor does he woo with romantic or genuine methods. No, instead, he encourages men (who pay over £1000 to take his seminars) to use force, derogatory comments and any means possible to have sex with whoever they want.

He has been denied entry and had his Visa revoked from Australia after they realised how shady and disturbing his message was. Now the UK government needs to do the same. This man (and I use that term lightly) has tour dates coming up in the UK. It is bad enough as it is in this climate. I and many thousands of women have had to endure sexual harassment from idiotic men who believe they can say what they want, anywhere at any time.

It happens every day and we, as women, are made to feel guilty or rude or stiff if we dare to say ‘No’ or worse. We become “pathetic” and “miserable” because we can’t take their ‘compliments’. Well telling me that my bum is “good enough to take a bite from” and then gnashing your teeth together menacingly, is NOT a compliment. Or making kissing noises as I walk by you six months pregnant is NOT a compliment.

Get it?

Domestic violence, rape and sexual harassment are as prominent now as ever.

Julien Blanc is giving these inbred men a reason, a justification to their obscene behaviour.

PLEASE! Do not allow this man into the UK.

Go to change.org and stop sexual predators like this doing what the hell they like.

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Wednesday 17th September – Just a normal day at work……….right?

This day began the same as any other. Yes, I was 32 weeks pregnant and still at work but I had made the decision to work through my pregnancy. Partially to keep me sane and active and also because my husband and I couldn’t afford to lose my wage for the next two months before baby’s expected arrival.

I woke up in the morning having had a satisfying, full sleep the previous night. However, shortly after rising I began to suffer from a deep headache. It came on very suddenly. I wondered if because I had been unwell the previous two days and had spent time at home resting and recuperating, that my body was unable to cope with the shock of waking up so early and heading out to work. It was the only explanation I could muster.

Once at work and after eating an unhealthy McDonald’s breakfast, I sat in the staff room being greeted and welcomed back. I felt fine if not a little tired. As I began my working day, supporting a colleague with a class for the morning, I felt eager to get back into my working routine. I sat supporting a group of children I regularly worked with for the first hour of the day. At 10 am and as we prepared to go to morning assembly, I suddenly felt odd.

Strangely and almost worryingly, I felt an urgent need to pass wind! Embarrassed at the thought I might “let one go” in the middle of the classroom, I sat tight in a fit of panic. Within seconds, my insides cramped and I was certain I had lost control of my bladder. I quickly realised that I couldn’t keep whatever was about to come out – inside. I immediately excused myself to the bathroom and hurried down to the staff bathrooms. Along the way, nothing could keep it from flowing out. I had no idea what was happening as I bolted down the stairs. I was convinced I was wetting myself.

Thankfully, no one crossed my path as I finally made it to a toilet. I locked myself in, pulled down my drenched trousers and attempted to use the toilet. Nothing came out. I was confused. Had I emptied my entire bladder on the way there? How mortifying! I stood up. Within moments, water began pouring out of me.

“Are my waters breaking?” The obvious question and answer finally hit my mind. I did the only thing I knew you could do to check if this was the case. Please look away now if you are easily disgusted…….
I smelled my trousers to sense the smell of urine. Of course, that would be the most obvious sign of a bladder problem. If the smell however was odourless, then it was definitely a sign of waters breaking. Mine smelt of the latter. NOTHING.

SHIT.

My waters had broken. At work. In class. WAY too early.

I was only 32 weeks pregnant and seriously panicking.

I waited and held my trousers underneath the dryer so that I would have some dignity when I could eventually leave the bathroom.

I managed to find the same colleague to help me after a half hour. She was surprised but her along with three other women, helped me through the nerves and stress of this sudden revelation. Well wishes and good lucks flew at me as I made my way to my hospital.

There, as my husband and mother met me, I was told baby needed some monitoring over the following days. So I was admitted into hospital. My waters were still coming out thick and fast annoyingly so I had to wear towels to stop the leaking. It was very strange. I was given an essential steroid injection to mature baby’s lungs in case it decided to appear sooner than we wanted. It bloody hurt! I’ve never felt pain like that before but unfortunately, it would not be long before I would.

After a few hours, I was placed in the care of the Antenatal Unit. David, my husband, stayed with me as I nervously waited to be told what was next in store for me.

It would be the start of my little adventure to the day I gave birth to Ivy-Wren.

End of SATs week.

This week at work has been the year 6 SAT tests. We have been working up to this point from September last year so for it to all be over is a relief. Not to say the anxiety has totally gone, we still have to wait for the results!

My head has been elsewhere these last couple of weeks. My morning sickness still hasn’t subsided and my headaches continue to appear. On top of that, my right arm has been playing up again; a symptom I suffered on week 5 of pregnancy. I spent last night with it bandaged up. I hope it gets better soon. 

I still have the conclusion of Dear Sister to write which I intend to do soon. It’s a shame my flow was broken three weeks ago as I really felt like I was getting somewhere. 

I would like to start sharing with you some of my recent poetry. The letters have opened up a new set of emotions, most of which I have channeled into my poetry. Perhaps I could start a May poetry week next week.

Enjoy the rest of your day xx

Last week at work!

I have two and a half days left before we break up for the summer – very exciting! Although, living in my sauna of a flat for the next five weeks is not something I’m looking forward to. We bought an air cooler today which seems to be helping but it’s just another object being placed into our overcrowded, one bedroom apartment.

Even though moving to my mums’ is a daunting prospect, you don’t expect that to happen one year into your marriage, I cannot wait to have SPACE! David and I are constantly on top of each other and in this heat it is getting too much. We are both stressing over such little things and getting irritable so easily. It’ll also be nice to have a garden. I’ve missed that so much. Just a space to read or relax, enjoy the sun without thousands of eyes on you or have a picnic on the grass; I’m looking forward to that.

These last few days at work are going to be manic. School trips, school performances, I’m up to my head in it. But come Wednesday, I’ll be free!

At least for five weeks.

Then it begins all over again!

Happy holidays to all the teachers out there.

4 spiteful girls – Part 2.

H was a colleague of mine. We worked together from 2007-2008 before I realised I needed to leave that job to challenge myself in a better career.

She was another loud, confident character. An Irish girl who loved attention and seemed very easy to get on with. We bonded straight away and had a very intense friendship. She was away from all her friends back home so clung to me quite quickly. I didn’t mind, I needed to focus my attention to anyone other than my needy father. I opened up to her very soon into our friendship. She was shocked at first, she had met my Dad and assumed like all the others that he was a kind and decent man. He was generous in front of her and acted like the proud father he certainly was not. I never rejected his kindness in front of her, it would have been foolish to do so as it would have created an unnecessary argument.

She didn’t dispute or fight my accusations against my father as many others have in the past. She was just surprised as our relationship seemed so normal and my father seemed so loving.

During the year of 2007, we spent a lot of time socialising together, regularly going out to bars and flirting with men. From very early on, it was clear that H was a bit of a man-hater. She had clearly been hurt in the past and had very candid and brazen opinions of the opposite sex. She was over-protective of me and would “assess” the men I spoke to. She rarely approved of any of them. I was twenty five and had never had a long term relationship that I felt could have a future. I wanted to meet someone who I could love. It was something I saw happening. H wasn’t impressed often reiterating how useless men were and that I’d be better off without one.

At the end of 2007, I decided to become part time at the job I was doing and focus on Teaching. I went on a Teaching English as a Foreign Language course in the heart of London.

That course would eventually change my life. Not just in the career sense but it was where I first met my husband, David.

We began dating a month after the course having first begun a friendship. H was suspicious straight away. She couldn’t and wouldn’t trust any man especially ones that I had taken a shine to. She immediately hated David.

Having met him at my twenty sixth birthday party she was confused as to why I was with him. Questioning how I could be attracted to someone who was clearly the polar opposite of me. I was confident, friendly and fun. He was shy, quiet and distant. That was how she saw us but I knew we were both very different than that. We both had layers that we revealed only to each other. H never saw beyond the confidence. I had to be like that in my profession, I wanted to excel in my job and be respected by my peers. I was a people pleaser, a chameleon, I found it easy to adapt to different situations. Inside, there was much more to me as there was to David. We discovered those parts of us together, it was one of the reasons I fell for him.

My best friend K was there that night too. She also worked with us once before she also realised she was better than the job too. K made a few comments the following morning which resonated in my mind. She was shocked that H would not leave my bedroom when we returned, placing herself on my bed as David and I waited to go to sleep. She attempted to launch into a big conversation about nothing just to irritate David and I. It wasn’t going to happen, neither of us were that rude. I think K even tried to usher her to her own room but she just wouldn’t budge. K thought it was strange that H was so possessive and desperate of my attention.

I had never thought of her like that but K was right.

After that night, I began going out less with H, instead I spent most of my weekends travelling down to Essex to visit David. I didn’t mind the journey, I was so happy to be away from my father’s grasp.

H criticised that I was never free and had put a man before our friendship even though she saw me every day at work. It did not faze me, I had longed to meet a man like this for so long I was not about to throw it away. She, in my mind, was still my friend and I was hoping that she would not be insulted or take it as rudeness. I just wanted to make my relationship with David last. It was incredibly important to me.

Eventually her anger came out.

In a long winded message over Facebook, H launched a verbal attack on my personality.

I was horrified.

I was not expecting it.

It was cruel and merciless. She mocked and insulted me freely, accusing me of exaggerating my father’s behaviour for attention. She ridiculed David and shocked me with her nasty words that so naturally fell from her poisonous mouth.

I was upset. I was annoyed. How could I have fallen into this mess again? What the hell was I doing attracting these venomous people into my life? Was it true, were her words true? Too many girls have said it to me before it cannot be false.

Was my father a bad man or was I creating that in my head for attention?

NO, of course not! It happened and it happened to me. She could not face the truth. None of them could.

I won’t be held under suspicion or challenged by short-sighted people.

It is my truth, my life and H was not meant to be a part of it.

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill