On Her Terms.

I can’t deny that living back home with my mother is difficult. David and I have been here for ten months now. We were not anticipating being here for so long and unfortunately now it is becoming a struggle.

I find it hard enough to live solely with my husband let alone another person. My mother has her own amazing qualities as well as some awkward and irritating faults. Most of which she will quite happily defend or deny. I am feeling pretty frustrated at the moment and I know my husband shares these feelings too. 

Not that the time here hasn’t been pleasant but at thirty two, I have grown as has David and we are in desperate need of our space. Yes, we have the option of renting again but it totally defeats our original purpose of coming here in the first place. As we wait patiently through this agonizing time for my father’s inheritance (it will soon be the 2 year mark) I can’t help but wish for it to come sooner. Not only would it be beneficial to find a property before the little one comes, we need to be able to breathe. Sadly, both my parents share similarities. I was and am unable to laugh with them on my terms. My humour differs to theirs. My Dad liked silliness or humour at other’s expense. My mother likes old fashioned humour rarely understanding modern comedy. I and David are quite dry in our humour; quintessentially British we like to think. There are therefore occasions where our humour is lost on her.

She takes offence very easily even when nothing is set to offend her. A passive attitude and defeatist demeanour aids this. Although she once told me she was an assertive person, there is nothing to support this. Once maybe, a long time ago but it has been many, many years since I have witnessed assertive behaviour from her.

One thing she always confuses is passion with anger.

I do believe you can feel passionately about something and when this happens you may explain it in a forceful way. A moment ago this happened as I showed my mother a recipe. In her usual manner, she found fault in it before anything else (Dave and I are struggling with her constant fault finding in life at the moment) and when I justified the Michelin starred restaurant’s recipe, my mother snapped and in her native language shouted,

“Don’t get angry!”

A phrase she utters every time you dare to disagree with her. Sadly, this is happening more often than not. I vent here on WordPress because it is safe. I cannot approach her with this as she walked away from our spat fuming. I refuse to argue or shout whilst carrying this little one. It is not fair on the baby nor is it fair on me. 

I could never speak freely with Him and unfortunately I can’t with her either. Life is on her terms.

I am too old for this! 

Pet peeves.

God there are some things in this world that really grate on me! Being British probably doesn’t help, we do enjoy a little moan now and again. I try not to let these annoyances get to me but it is very hard to control a reaction when I see them. My husband finds it amusing and after five and a half years together, he knows them all off by heart often looking over expecting me to complain.

Here follows my top 5 pet peeves.

In fifth place:

Impractical dressers.

I cannot stand seeing people wearing clothes that do not adhere to the seasons. I just can’t tell you how annoying it is to see someone during the British winter feel that it is appropriate to wear shorts or leave the house without a coat. It confuses me! Why do you think it is going to be hot outside just because you see sun?? If it’s raining, why are you leaving the house in sneakers or plimsolls? You know that they are not waterproof or watertight, you know that within ten minutes your feet will be soaking, so why do it?

In fourth place:

Spitting.

Aaaaarrrgghhh! Hate, hate, hate this with passion! Yes, I understand that footballers do this on the pitch, I get that, but for what reason are random people spitting in the street? I just detest it. I do not want to walk down the road and pass somebody bringing up phlegm, I mean that sound in itself is bad enough, but then to see it fly out of their mouth really takes the biscuit! Eurgh! It’s foul. Use a bloody tissue for god’s sake!

Third place goes to:

Prams. 

Okay, not prams in general, I have nothing against them but older kids in them. I have worked with children for the last seven years, I understand how they develop and what they are capable of. I can honestly tell you that a six year old child does not need to sit in a pram. So why do I see this happening all the time? They are not babies who cannot walk, they are extremely able. I suppose it deems for an easier life, for when that child kicks off, the parent can just place them in their pram. Why not put a dummy in their mouth too?? Wait – don’t get me started, I hate that too.

Another pram-related problem is watching parents overload their prams with shopping whilst their one year old babies toddle behind erratically. It is quite upsetting actually. I think it’s borderline abusive. Get a cab! Or carry your child! Just don’t downgrade them for your bags of shopping. Fine, we all need food but when the prams are filled with shopping bags from discount stores, well that’s the biggest joke!

In second place:

Never-changing celebrities.

By this I mean celebrities who have looked the same for many many years. Ones who are famed for looking a certain way and are holding onto the fact that it made them famous therefore keep that same look for the rest of their lives. God does it annoy me! Embrace the change! I find it both hilarious and sad when I witness it. I feel sorry for them that their only identity is one from thirty years ago. It is a huge pet peeve.

But not as much as my number one:

Sunglasses on the tube.

THERE IS NO SUN ON THE UNDERGROUND YOU IDIOTS!

That basically sums it up.

Hate it and have to bite my lip not to react to it.

I don’t have pet peeves; I have whole kennels of irritation.
Whoopi Goldberg