Photo 6 – How am I not dead?

At the end of 2013, I began a photographic story showing the state of the home I lived in with my father. I received many responses to these pictures. Mostly reactions of horror from people I know, who never really knew the extent of the conditions we lived in. They had never been witness to it. My father was very clever at disguising certain parts of the house and his dangerous eccentricities and careless nature were always well hidden. Friends and family were only allowed in the showy and presentable parts of the house. I however, saw the truth every day.

The kitchen was one of the worse rooms. It also happened to be the largest room in the house much to my father’s happiness (he saw it as his domain). Guests who visited always commented on how big it was; he loved that. But what if they had looked closer? Would they have seen the dirty and crumb filled toaster from,

(See My filthy life – Photo 3)

would they have stepped into our adjoining garage and discovered his hoarding obsession?

(See My father the hoarder – Photo 2)

Would they have walked around and seen the state of the cooker? A piece of kitchen equipment that I used every day living at home with my father. An appliance that I could not do without. An essential aid to making my life as normal as possible, something that would bring me sustenance and provide me with a basic human right. But what if that appliance was spoiled, unhygienic, unsanitary and rank? What if you were forced to use a machine that hadn’t been cleaned for ten years? It was another task my father had placed in my list of chores to do. A list that went up to eighty four. A mental list that I never lost count of and never completed. My father refused to help in any way. It was not his job. It was MY fault it got into that state and MY responsibility to resolve the tainted problem. Except it was too much for me. He gained so much enjoyment watching me on my hands and knees scrubbing his precious kitchen. I could not stand the humiliation and fearing the examination of my work after.

Why did I ever let myself live like this?

I mean, how am I not dead?

Image

Dictionary.com

un·san·i·tar·y

[uhn-san-i-ter-ee]  Show IPA

adjective

not sanitary; unhealthy or unhealthful; tending to harbor or spreaddisease: unsanitary living conditions.

The Big Move!

I’ve been out of WordPress action for the last few days due to moving house! My husband took Friday off work to help with the last dregs of packing however there was so much left to do and we were left feeling rather overwhelmed.

We had to move, not really out of choice as our landlord sort of sprung it on us. We are now at my mum’s house. Again, not ideal! But hopefully not for too long. I don’t want to be a burden to her but she would never turn us out with nowhere to go, I know my safety and comfort is on her priority list.

We are very lucky to be here with the chance to save some money for the remaining part of 2013. Renting is so bloody expensive!

The last few days have been incredibly chaotic. On Friday, after a full day of packing, David and I went out for sushi. Something must have disagreed with me as a few hours later, in the middle of the night, I awoke with a ferocious rash covering my face and neck. Gradually it spread over my body and I realized I was having a horrific allergic reaction. I woke up David as it seemed serious. I just couldn’t believe it was happening the night before the move! After taking an antihistamine and attempting not to itch my face for an hour, we both drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately, we were up just five hours later.

Being exhausted was not the ideal feeling I had hoped for on Saturday. As well as the itchy lumps that appeared on me the night before I also had to deal with the worst stomach cramps I have ever had! They were shockingly painful and left me feeling pretty sick on Saturday.

So! Crappy start to the big move.

David’s parents kindly helped us all day yesterday. It would’ve been a nightmare without them.

My mother is away and back tomorrow. The unpacking has already commenced!

Wish us luck!