Chapter one – The Early Years – The flashback

January 2013 – The beginning of my journey to closing the chapter on the story of my life with my abuser. As well as revealing the truth about my suffering for all those years, I blogged parts of my autobiography for the first time ever. No one had truly read about the horror he had put me through and finally I felt I had a voice. Unusually, one of my most popular posts from the autobiography was that of a sweeter memory I shared of my mother as a child. It is probably my earliest memory too. Chapter 1- The Flashback proved to be a popular post and I am happy that it was.


My mother moved out when I was fourteen as she could no longer cope. She tried to take me with her but his grip was too tight and by then I was too brainwashed. My sister did go with her and the two teams grew stronger with hate. On a rare holiday to visit her family, I was constantly bombarded with questions and demands to stay loyal to her and see my father for the evil creature he was. Of course at that moment my loyalties were firmly with my Dad and I was left distraught by their abhorrence towards him. They were just worried for my safety as they had been with my mother for years but I was blind to it. I made false promises to them out of fear and pressure saying that I would stand by her. I still loved her, very much, I longed for…

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