I cannot tell you how many rules were put upon me living with my father. Not boundaries, he had no boundaries, he constantly over-stepped the mark, just rules, endless, unachievable rules that followed me, haunted me every day in my father’s company.
One day I carelessly left the television on stand-by. As I returned home from work I noticed his car was in the drive way. I opened the front door and called out to him but there was no reply. I took off my coat and walked upstairs. It was silent. As I reached my bedroom I saw a figure with his back to me. Before he turned he spoke and pointed,
“What is this?”
I looked in the direction of his finger at the T.V. It had been left on stand-by and not turned off at the mains. How could I forget? My heart was racing.
“Well?” his voice sharpened.
Calmly and honestly I speak the truth saying it was a mistake and I forgot this morning. How could I have been so stupid?
Facing me he shouted “You always forget! Every day you forget!”
A sigh of disbelief shot out through a narrow smile.
“Are you mocking me?” he raged.
Occasionally I would get so angry that my fury would be released and I could not control it like normal. I began to defend myself and criticise him. That he always does this. Nit-picking, bringing up incidents from years ago, finding constant faults, at twenty seven I felt it was right to speak up. Again it made me laugh, only this time, louder.
At once my father made a short sharp noise. Not loud enough for the neighbours to hear but for me to feel terrified. I quickly ran downstairs as he followed swiftly behind. He muttered several things like how all I ever did was answer him back, that I was insolent and rude. I ran to the kitchen, there was nowhere else to go. The only option was to get into the garden where I could be heard and he would back down.
“Shut that door! You dare taunt me!!” he threatened through gritted teeth with his hand raised above my face.
“HIT ME!!!” I screamed.
He was silent and calm. He lowered his hand, let out a nasty smirk and left.